She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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