Its about making memories worth repressing
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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