Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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