Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
