its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
