I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
