We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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