so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
