We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm at about main and main street
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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