i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize