Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
