were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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