Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
