Me too!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
