i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
