i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize