Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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