I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
