he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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