I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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