Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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