We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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