I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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