dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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