enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
how do flat chested girls get laid?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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