like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
