You really coming over, don't trick.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
