I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
