No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
