What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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