The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
