I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
