I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Welp...herpes.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
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