rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize