We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
