there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
