He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
