Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
