Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i've created a new STD.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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