I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
