I cannot find my penis.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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