So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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