last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I have post one night stand depression
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