giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
