i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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