just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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