Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
