His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
