Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
