You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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