the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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