Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
