my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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