i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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