try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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