Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize