Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
