I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I could make wine with my vomit
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
