It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Randomize
