why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So squirting runs in the family.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
