Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
