FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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