There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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